I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Text me some of your sweat
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
