I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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