ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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