He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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