i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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