My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
