I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
