break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
