i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
