Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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