We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
