I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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