so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
