guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
