So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
