Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
