So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
