I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
