Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
