you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The power of my boobs compel you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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