You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
