what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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