Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i barfeds in our rink
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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