so explain again why im purple
no
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
