I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
