He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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