batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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