this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
