i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
