He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
