im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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