Already got asked if we're dating
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
