It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I party with great urgency now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
