He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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