Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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