He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
