oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
