woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
