I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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