I wish I could punch you in the face.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
