I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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