we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
