ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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