It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
