My balls are so social today.
you traded sex for a burrito?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
