I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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