i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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