There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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