You're my little dorito
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
