I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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