i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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