new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
