That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
