There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
