It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
