So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
