i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
