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• (315): View more from New York

  There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its Wednesday...

  (315): View more from New York

  they're reeeeeally big trays

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.

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• (415): View more from California

  I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What did he say?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  third one in three days

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.

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