i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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