remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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