Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
